The Meter Man Cometh
Any dreams I had of sleeping in this morning were shattered by a distinctive ringtone indicating that the Blond was trying to call me.
She just left for work. What is this all about?
"Hey," she said, "I wanted to let you know I just saw the METER MAN lurking around the neighborhood."
Now, to most people this would not be a big deal. But we are not "most people". One of the Blond's biggest fears in this earthly life is that the meter man will stop by when we have a Messy Basement.
In this case, her fear was about to be realized.
The path to our steam meter was blocked by a small pyramid of discarded Pop Cases. The room with the water meter held MASSIVE evidence of our dog's incontinence. To make matters worse, the Blond had babysat her little niece & nephew the night before. (They love coming to our house because we are quite possibly the worst babysitters on the planet. We babysit basically in the same way we raise children & dogs; that is to say we let them do whatever they want, as long we can still hear the TV and no one calls the police.) Because of this, the Family Room floor was littered with LEGO's, empty pop cans, Beanie Babies, Doggie Bones, Coloring Books, and a half-bottle of "Franks RED HOT Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce". (Don't ask...)
"ARRRGH!" I said calmly into the phone, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."
Leaping from the bed, I sprinted to the basement. Whisking LEGO's and stuffed animals into a plastic bag, I continued on to clear a path through Mt. Sodabox. After several "Dirty Dish Runs" up & down the stairs, I then tackled the dreaded "Poop Room".
When I could breathe again, I ran for the vacuum. Little Pirate Heads and Beanie Eyes disappeared into the dust bag forever. Vacuum screaming, I had just reached the top of the stairs when the outside door began to open right in front of me.
Busted...The Blond would not be pleased.
"Hi, Tom," I said casually, just before he came in.
"How did you know it was me?" the Meter Man asked.
Conclusion: We drink too much Soda Pop.
She just left for work. What is this all about?
"Hey," she said, "I wanted to let you know I just saw the METER MAN lurking around the neighborhood."
Now, to most people this would not be a big deal. But we are not "most people". One of the Blond's biggest fears in this earthly life is that the meter man will stop by when we have a Messy Basement.
In this case, her fear was about to be realized.
The path to our steam meter was blocked by a small pyramid of discarded Pop Cases. The room with the water meter held MASSIVE evidence of our dog's incontinence. To make matters worse, the Blond had babysat her little niece & nephew the night before. (They love coming to our house because we are quite possibly the worst babysitters on the planet. We babysit basically in the same way we raise children & dogs; that is to say we let them do whatever they want, as long we can still hear the TV and no one calls the police.) Because of this, the Family Room floor was littered with LEGO's, empty pop cans, Beanie Babies, Doggie Bones, Coloring Books, and a half-bottle of "Franks RED HOT Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce". (Don't ask...)
"ARRRGH!" I said calmly into the phone, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."
Leaping from the bed, I sprinted to the basement. Whisking LEGO's and stuffed animals into a plastic bag, I continued on to clear a path through Mt. Sodabox. After several "Dirty Dish Runs" up & down the stairs, I then tackled the dreaded "Poop Room".
When I could breathe again, I ran for the vacuum. Little Pirate Heads and Beanie Eyes disappeared into the dust bag forever. Vacuum screaming, I had just reached the top of the stairs when the outside door began to open right in front of me.
Busted...The Blond would not be pleased.
"Hi, Tom," I said casually, just before he came in.
"How did you know it was me?" the Meter Man asked.
Conclusion: We drink too much Soda Pop.
posted by Colonel Havoc at 1:08 PM
9 Comments:
LOL!!! Mt Sodabox!!! Too funny...if not a little embarrassing. Sorry, reading public, it the Colonel insists on feeding you TMI.
The Blond
Haha.. silly people. And you do drink a lot of soda. ALOT.
The Blond must've decided "Don't go there" was lame.
And the mystery of the missing pirate heads is solved!
I see you have an empty Pepsi case right next to an empty Coke case. Pepsi in the same photo as Coke...you people make me sick!
Soda Bigot...
I had to chuckle when I read the post about the meter man. I miss working with the blonde and her fun stories!
I see you support Coke. I question the Pepsi choice though. Although no judging.
funny post! keep 'em coming.
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