Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Things I Do Because I'm a Moron X

The Colonel enjoys a good cup of morning coffee when he's out on the road.


The problem is, Hotel Coffee Makers, especially luxury models like the ones at the Super 8, have decanters that were designed by Satan.  When you go to pour a cup, the steaming, hot liquid tends to slosh everywhere but into your intended target.

This often results in a large puddle of brown liquid, not unlike the legendary Blob, spreading across the tabletop workspace, destroying Blackberries, laptops, Bluetooth earpieces, and anything else in its path.

But not today.  My still sleepy, caffeine-deprived brain devised a better plan, without any conscious thought on my part.

Sitting at the table, coffee pot in one hand, cup in the other, a single synapse fired in my head and said, "If you pour this over the table, it will go everywhere but in your cup."

My body listened to that solitary brain cell, and without further thought, pulled back from the table and proceeded to pour the coffee...

...directly onto my lap. 

I think I'll wait until I get to work for my first cup of the day.

We have a first-aid kit.