Live! From Bismarck?
I used to like my Cell Phone company. Really, I did.
Friends would whine & complain about their coverage, their bill, etc, and I would just smile in smug satisfaction over the fact that I never had any trouble with mine.
"You poor, silly people," I would think, "Why can't you be more like me? I Love my Cell Phone Company."
I was so enthusiastic, that when our provider erected a new tower that extended service to the nether-regions of our territory, I forced my cohorts to pose for a triumphant, fist pumping, cell phone picture in celebration.
Yes, I am a Nerd. But the point is, I was happy. I looked forward to being able to converse with the Blond from the Walleye Inn without using a calling card. Cellular One was good, and all was right in the world.
What a fool I was.
Upon receiving this month’s cell bill, I was surprised to see, on my Unlimited Statewide plan, $34.30 for “Roaming.”
Hey, the Colonel does a lot of Stupid things, but he does not “Roam”.
So I called the Cell One “Help Line” (1-800-we don’t care).
“Hi,” I began, “I have unlimited statewide calling, and I have not been out of state this month, yet my bill shows 98 minutes worth of roaming charges.”
Cell-One Drone: “Yes sir, you made those calls from Bismarck, North Dakota.”
The Colonel: “I don’t think you understand. I have not been out of state.”
Cell One Drone: “Our data shows that you made those calls from Bismarck.”
I thought for a moment: “When does it say I made the first call from “Bismarck”?
Cell One Drone: “9:49 am, May 29th.”
The Colonel: "When was my last call before that?”
Cell One Drone: “8:47 am, Same Day.”
The Colonel: “And where did I make that call from?”
Cell One Drone: “International Falls, Minnesota”
I’m not proud of this, but I actually said, “Do you have any idea how far Bismarck is from International Falls? How could I have gotten there in one hour? I’m not Clark Kent, and this isn’t Smallville.” (Yes, I said that. I'm sorry.)
After I made some more, dumb comments about Star Trek and transporters, and how I wished I actually was smart enough to travel 441 miles in 1 hour, so I would be rich enough to carry an iphone, instead of my stupid Cell-One Brick, a “Supervisor” (“Hey, Larry, we got another jerk on line one…”) gave me the credit, but actually warned me not to make any more calls from Baudette, or I would get more roaming charges, seeing as it is so close to the Bismarck Tower.
I hate my cell phone company.
Friends would whine & complain about their coverage, their bill, etc, and I would just smile in smug satisfaction over the fact that I never had any trouble with mine.
"You poor, silly people," I would think, "Why can't you be more like me? I Love my Cell Phone Company."
I was so enthusiastic, that when our provider erected a new tower that extended service to the nether-regions of our territory, I forced my cohorts to pose for a triumphant, fist pumping, cell phone picture in celebration.
Yes, I am a Nerd. But the point is, I was happy. I looked forward to being able to converse with the Blond from the Walleye Inn without using a calling card. Cellular One was good, and all was right in the world.
What a fool I was.
Upon receiving this month’s cell bill, I was surprised to see, on my Unlimited Statewide plan, $34.30 for “Roaming.”
Hey, the Colonel does a lot of Stupid things, but he does not “Roam”.
So I called the Cell One “Help Line” (1-800-we don’t care).
“Hi,” I began, “I have unlimited statewide calling, and I have not been out of state this month, yet my bill shows 98 minutes worth of roaming charges.”
Cell-One Drone: “Yes sir, you made those calls from Bismarck, North Dakota.”
The Colonel: “I don’t think you understand. I have not been out of state.”
Cell One Drone: “Our data shows that you made those calls from Bismarck.”
I thought for a moment: “When does it say I made the first call from “Bismarck”?
Cell One Drone: “9:49 am, May 29th.”
The Colonel: "When was my last call before that?”
Cell One Drone: “8:47 am, Same Day.”
The Colonel: “And where did I make that call from?”
Cell One Drone: “International Falls, Minnesota”
I’m not proud of this, but I actually said, “Do you have any idea how far Bismarck is from International Falls? How could I have gotten there in one hour? I’m not Clark Kent, and this isn’t Smallville.” (Yes, I said that. I'm sorry.)
After I made some more, dumb comments about Star Trek and transporters, and how I wished I actually was smart enough to travel 441 miles in 1 hour, so I would be rich enough to carry an iphone, instead of my stupid Cell-One Brick, a “Supervisor” (“Hey, Larry, we got another jerk on line one…”) gave me the credit, but actually warned me not to make any more calls from Baudette, or I would get more roaming charges, seeing as it is so close to the Bismarck Tower.
I hate my cell phone company.
posted by Colonel Havoc at 2:58 PM
3 Comments:
Haha. I think you're watching too much Smallville.
Cell Phone Companies are stupid.
We know someone who got an iPhone and couldn't even use it becuase he had a corporate account- iPhones don't work with corporate accounts. That bites.
I heard you say the comment about Smallville. I sat at my computer and was shaking my head and laughing at you. Then I made it a point to inform all friends that I have a nerd for a dad. :D
tootles! :)
Post a Comment
<< Home