Happy Birthday...from Hal
Why do businesses still send out birthday cards?
We've all gotten them. They have the company logo on the front and on the inside they say something like,
Roses are Red,
Pimples have Pus
Thank you for Buying
Insurance from Us
Happy Birthday!
Then there is a printed image of the signature of the CEO of the company.
In the old days, I'm sure people used to think, "Wow. The president of the company remembered me on my birthday. I'm going to send them all my money."
Nowadays, everyone knows that some database somewhere has simply triggered an automatic mail-merge with your name on it. Instead of a warm, fuzzy feeling about the great folks down at your electric company, you are left with one more uneasy reminder that some massive computer is holding all of your personal information and is using it to print out cold, emotionless birthday greetings and false Mastercard charges.
I got about twelve of these last week. I threw them all away.
One of them was signed, "Mom."
We've all gotten them. They have the company logo on the front and on the inside they say something like,
Roses are Red,
Pimples have Pus
Thank you for Buying
Insurance from Us
Happy Birthday!
Then there is a printed image of the signature of the CEO of the company.
In the old days, I'm sure people used to think, "Wow. The president of the company remembered me on my birthday. I'm going to send them all my money."
Nowadays, everyone knows that some database somewhere has simply triggered an automatic mail-merge with your name on it. Instead of a warm, fuzzy feeling about the great folks down at your electric company, you are left with one more uneasy reminder that some massive computer is holding all of your personal information and is using it to print out cold, emotionless birthday greetings and false Mastercard charges.
I got about twelve of these last week. I threw them all away.
One of them was signed, "Mom."
posted by Colonel Havoc at 8:56 AM
7 Comments:
I know how ya feel. Ever got one for your birthday when it isn't your birthday? I've gotten letters from Fortune Bay (never been there before) in november wishing me Happy Birthday. Well at least I think Aaron Krunich is me . . . he has my address.
Did you write that little "Roses Are Red" poem? That was gross.
Happy belated birthday, though!
Happy Birthday Dude.
If I was there, I would have given you paintballs for your birthday...from the business end of my marker!
That poem reminds me of my favorite poem:
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I'm a schiztophrenic,
And so am I.
Oh, by the way, WHAT about Bob?
The only way I would like all those crappy birthday cards is if they had money in them.
Hey Al- Happy B-day.
Remind me to email you my Amica story.
Birthdays are like Boogers. nuff said.
tootles! :)
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