Of Cups and Couplings
This Post is dedicated to Larry, who has firsthand knowledge of the value of a good torque amplifier.
Sunday morning, I went to grab a travel mug to fill up with the "Acceptable Christian Stimulant" of choice.
Imagine my concern when I discovered that every travel mug we own had been left, at some point in the week, out in our vehicles. They were now completely inaccessible to me and my stockinged feet, across the frozen wasteland that is our back yard.
So I looked once more, deep, deep, back in the cupboard, and there it was, saying "Me! Me! Please pick me!"
Yes...I know it is a Pink Cup. You don't have to tell me it's pink. EVERYBODY at church told me it was pink. I've never caught so much grief in my life.
Never let it be said that the Colonel isn't secure in who he is, but all the same, I felt I needed to reassert the existence of Y-Chromosomes in my DNA. Something drastic had to be done to balance out the Mug episode.
It was too cold to Cook Outdoors and I wasn't properly dressed to work on a transmission, so I decided to REPLACE AN OLD PIPE in our Steam System.
By now, of course you have figured out that you can re-arrange the letters in "Replace an old Pipe" to spell, "Rip a Candle, People." I'm not quite certain how to do that, but I'm sure it would have been easier.
I didn't have a big enough pipe wrench, so I went to a very manly Hardware Store and purchased a GINORMOUS one.
Even then, one coupling simply would not budge. I finally had to employ the help of two SIX FOOT Pipes on the end of the wrenches (The previously mentioned Torque Amplifiers). So there I was, standing six feet away from the coupling, grunting and straining to move this joint, and pausing only to sip coffee from my pink cup.
Finally, it gave. I removed the offending link of pipe, ran down to ANOTHER, very manly IRON FABRICATING business, and had a new pipe...get this...CUT AND THREADED.
I put everything back together, and, confidence restored, sat down to write this post.
The Pipe cost $7.44
The Wrench, however, was $63.00
My new, Camouflage Coffee Mug , on the other hand, was only $4.99.
Sunday morning, I went to grab a travel mug to fill up with the "Acceptable Christian Stimulant" of choice.
Imagine my concern when I discovered that every travel mug we own had been left, at some point in the week, out in our vehicles. They were now completely inaccessible to me and my stockinged feet, across the frozen wasteland that is our back yard.
So I looked once more, deep, deep, back in the cupboard, and there it was, saying "Me! Me! Please pick me!"
Yes...I know it is a Pink Cup. You don't have to tell me it's pink. EVERYBODY at church told me it was pink. I've never caught so much grief in my life.
Never let it be said that the Colonel isn't secure in who he is, but all the same, I felt I needed to reassert the existence of Y-Chromosomes in my DNA. Something drastic had to be done to balance out the Mug episode.
It was too cold to Cook Outdoors and I wasn't properly dressed to work on a transmission, so I decided to REPLACE AN OLD PIPE in our Steam System.
By now, of course you have figured out that you can re-arrange the letters in "Replace an old Pipe" to spell, "Rip a Candle, People." I'm not quite certain how to do that, but I'm sure it would have been easier.
I didn't have a big enough pipe wrench, so I went to a very manly Hardware Store and purchased a GINORMOUS one.
Even then, one coupling simply would not budge. I finally had to employ the help of two SIX FOOT Pipes on the end of the wrenches (The previously mentioned Torque Amplifiers). So there I was, standing six feet away from the coupling, grunting and straining to move this joint, and pausing only to sip coffee from my pink cup.
Finally, it gave. I removed the offending link of pipe, ran down to ANOTHER, very manly IRON FABRICATING business, and had a new pipe...get this...CUT AND THREADED.
I put everything back together, and, confidence restored, sat down to write this post.
The Pipe cost $7.44
The Wrench, however, was $63.00
My new, Camouflage Coffee Mug , on the other hand, was only $4.99.
posted by Colonel Havoc at 10:52 AM
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I didn't even notice the pink mug. Now I ask myself were you secure enough to drink from it or just that desperate for coffee?
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