Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Great Moments in Jr. High SCIENCE

We were sitting in seventh grade science class, and the teacher was trying to get the concept of "creating a vacuum" into our little skulls.

He patiently explained that there really isn't anything that actually sucks stuff up. It doesn't matter if you are drinking a milk shake or pumping water out of a swimming pool, what you are really doing is creating a vacuum and the atmospheric pressure forces the shake, or water, or whatever into that vacuum, giving the impression it's being sucked in, when actually it's being pushed.

"So," he concluded, "Nothing really sucks up anything. It only happens when you create a vacuum."

One of the guys on the football team raised his hand. I swear this is true...

"Oh yeah?" He said belligerently, "What about a VACUUM cleaner?"

I think he was a
lineman.

12 Comments:

Blogger Isaac said...

Hmm... Title of post a reference to another great title? I think so. High school physics had more than its share of moments... "Feel my arm, it's hot because I'm big..." "Trucks have a strong enough gravity to affect the cars near them..." "E, you get a sucky grade..."

Ah well.

Isaac

8:37 AM  
Blogger dangeresque dan said...

Mike Tice wasn't a lineman. He was a tightend. He was our Offensive Line coach. . . At least I believe so.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Colonel Havoc said...

Answers to the previous two comments:

Bravo Issac! yes, I did actually have a misty-eyed remembrance to that great comic strip when I wrote the title. We are all still waiting for the HUGE ESB Epic to be completed (He would only work on it when we took him on vacation.)

D Dan: Uh....a tight end IS a lineman. Debate, anyone?

One more thing, to the world in general: I resent having to type in the Word Verification letters to comment on MY OWN STUPID BLOG. I'm signed in. Doesn't it recognise its own master? Neither does my Dog.

9:35 AM  
Blogger dangeresque dan said...

I do debate a tightend being a lineman. They can go out and block or they can catch a ball. By the definition of a blocker and lining up on the line a Wide-Reciever is a lineman too. I think there is a clear difference in the weight too. . . 260 lbs for a tightend (let's just say) and 300+ for a lineman is a big difference.

12:28 PM  
Blogger Colonel Havoc said...

Dan: Your point is acknowledged.

I disagree. A Tight End lines up with the rest of the offensive line, and spends far more time blocking than receiving. They are known to participate in blocking drills with the rest of the O-line.

As far as weight is concerned, Tice resembles a lineman much more than he resembles Randy Moss.

Others?

12:54 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

Not all lineman are stupid I mean Matt Birk is definitly intelligent

1:00 PM  
Blogger Colonel Havoc said...

"Matt Birk...He went to Harvard."

2:02 PM  
Blogger the devine one said...

Wow.

5:13 PM  
Blogger SuperStar said...

I agree with the Devine One.
Wow.
Oh, and colonel, Your dog does too know you are her master.

11:20 AM  
Blogger JC said...

Dude- you just blogged something from like 20 years ago! That is awesome!

12:21 PM  
Blogger Graceland King said...

You know what else? Daunte weighs almost 300 pounds, so by Nixon's logic, he is a lineman. But he has gone out for a pass on the trick Moss-throw play, so maybe he is a tight end. And he also fumbles a lot, so maybe he is Ahman Green. I also hear he spends time on boats, so maybe he is Gilligan. Let's send them all back to his island.

thank you, thank you very much.

E.

2:14 PM  
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