Because I Love Her

It started out with The Blond (Shown here in a picture that has NOTHING to do with this post, other than pointing out that we just got around to developing a very old roll of film) announcing the following:

"We really need some new living room furniture."

I figured, "What the hey...She's cute, she works to support my preaching habit, why not?"

That was Mistake #1.

Remembering the Big Blue Building Adventure, we decided to shop locally. We were pleased to find a couple items that would look OK and repel Dog Vomit (a problem in our house) at the same time. We made the down payment and and scheduled delivery for the next Thursday.

I figured I was home free.

That would be Mistake #2.

We weren't more than 1/2 mile from the store when she happily stated, "If we're getting furniture, I want to paint the Living Room before it's delivered."

I did a quick schedule and timeline analysis in my head and concluded that she was really saying, "I want YOU to paint the living room before it arrives." I was skeptical, but tried to match her cheerfulness. "Sounds Great!" I lied.

I was up to Mistake #3.

Our old Paint theme consisted of one Cranberry Colored Wall and a bunch of what can only be described as "Circus Tent Stripes". The Blond's idea was to radically change this to an Eggplant Colored Wall (Just like Cranberry, but slightly darker) and, get ready... a bunch of Different Color Stripes. This meant that we needed to use about 240 ( no exaggeration) strips of masking tape. Figuring at about 2 minutes per strip of tape, three minutes of paint per stripe, two coats, drying time and then starting over for the next color, we would finish sometime during the Clinton (Hillary) administration. (In other words...never.) But I persisted.

Mistake # 4.

After working all the way through the first night (Mistake #5), we decided that we needed to motivate the Whiner, The Hermit, and Mr. Critical to help. (Ha! You fool! Just call that Mistake numbers 6 through 1 Billion and get on with the story.)


We tried begging. No dice.
We tried threatening. They just laughed.

Obviously, a con was in order. Knowing they had a penchant for watching Home Makeover Type shows, we told them we were going to be on a TLC show called "While You Were Passed Out" or something. We parked a truck outside, set up some lights and cameras, and started to direct.



They weren't buying it.



So we just bought them pizza.




Overall, it turned out pretty nice. The Blond is happy, she even invited her boss over for tea tonight, and I really didn't have to sacrifice that much.



At least I didn't have to buy her a bunny.