Fractured Syntax
I love our local paper...really.
Thank goodness they chose to cover the Viking's game rather than using AP feed from Dave Campbell. Otherwise, we would have been denied gems like this:
"One play later, quarterback Dante Culpepper hit Travis Taylor on a 24 yard scoring pass. It was the quickest score in team history, which occurred in 1989 against Philadelphia."
I really don't have a problem with all of the Viking's History occurring in one game in the late 80's, except that it totally ignores the Tarkenton years.
And...
"After the Vikings had to punt to start the third quarter (Doesn't the third quarter usually start with a kick-off?), New Orleans drove down the Minnesota four."
(This must be referring to the famous quartet of Alan Page, Carl Eller, Jim Marshall, and Gary Larsen.. Why did New Orleans feel the need to "Drive Down" these fine, retired veterans? Was this allowed by the same officials who forced the Vikings to begin the half with a punt?)
Finally,
"Deuce McAllister rambled over from one yard out to make the score 24-16 with 11:40 to play. We're the Vikings worried?"
Enough said.
In Closing...
"Vikings, Vikings, honor the name...
Vikings, Vikings, we're going to win this game..."
If you've never heard these lyrics sung to the Vikings song at the end of "Fan Line", then you've probably retained the Chili Dog you ate during the game.
Here's a better song. (Click here to Find & Download the "Purple Polka Rap") I found it while searching for the above lyrics. How cool to find it was written & performed by a relative of mine. (The Colonel gets to "Jam" with him about every five years at family reunions. It's kinda fun, yah, you betcha.)
Thank goodness they chose to cover the Viking's game rather than using AP feed from Dave Campbell. Otherwise, we would have been denied gems like this:
"One play later, quarterback Dante Culpepper hit Travis Taylor on a 24 yard scoring pass. It was the quickest score in team history, which occurred in 1989 against Philadelphia."
I really don't have a problem with all of the Viking's History occurring in one game in the late 80's, except that it totally ignores the Tarkenton years.
And...
"After the Vikings had to punt to start the third quarter (Doesn't the third quarter usually start with a kick-off?), New Orleans drove down the Minnesota four."
(This must be referring to the famous quartet of Alan Page, Carl Eller, Jim Marshall, and Gary Larsen.. Why did New Orleans feel the need to "Drive Down" these fine, retired veterans? Was this allowed by the same officials who forced the Vikings to begin the half with a punt?)
Finally,
"Deuce McAllister rambled over from one yard out to make the score 24-16 with 11:40 to play. We're the Vikings worried?"
Enough said.
In Closing...
"Vikings, Vikings, honor the name...
Vikings, Vikings, we're going to win this game..."
If you've never heard these lyrics sung to the Vikings song at the end of "Fan Line", then you've probably retained the Chili Dog you ate during the game.
Here's a better song. (Click here to Find & Download the "Purple Polka Rap") I found it while searching for the above lyrics. How cool to find it was written & performed by a relative of mine. (The Colonel gets to "Jam" with him about every five years at family reunions. It's kinda fun, yah, you betcha.)
posted by Colonel Havoc at 6:35 AM
7 Comments:
Grand post. I think the local staff does a good job writing. I gotta give them credit. It's hard for 3rd graders to write well. They don't know all we do about college level writing.
You really like the local paper that much? Even though you receive it hours after you are supossed to?
Am I the only one who appreciated the Dave Campbell reference? Probably.
It was for you, Rob. Plus, I like his writing.
I shook his hand once. Does that count for anything?
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