Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Sub Zero Talent!

The Colonel's phone tends to ring whenever the Multi-National Media Conglomerate Powerhouse that is Double Deuce/Rainy Day Pictures has a project that meets the following conditions:

1. They require a character whose entire description consists of the words, "Old Guy".

2. The temperature for an outside shoot has fallen to less than 2 degrees Fahrenheit.

Such was the case last night, so the Colonel and the Blond loaded up some warm clothing (Fool: you won't remember to wear them!) and Vibed over to Bemidji State University. (A favorite location in the sense that it allows the production company to avoid being arrested.)

On the way over, the Colonel practiced his line. (Yes..."line"... singular... The directors have a keen sense of evaluating and properly assigning acting talent.)

"No!" he practiced at the Blond, "How was that?"

"Try again," she said.

"NO!!!!" the Colonel rhapsodised, "No. No? Noooooooooooooo! no? n-n-n-n-no?"

"Don't give up your day job."

After dropping of the Blond to play with the Grandgirl, (lucky...) the Colonel proceeded to a desolate parking lot.
The production company was already assembled. In fairness, I should point out that they had already been outside in frozen conditions the entire day.

The Camera was just one item in danger of freezing. Ears, toes, and other body parts completed the list.

Using a convenient heated hallway to rehearse (stand here...don't move...don't say anything...good job) we ventured back outside to shoot the scene.

Three "protagonists" huddle up to figure out a way to outwit the Colonel's crafty character.

The Colonel BRILLIANTLY decided that his character should stand out in the scene by not wearing a hat. The Writer/Director concurred because he is a Sadist.

Warming back up between takes. The Director of Photography (on the right) is actually frozen in that position. They simply wedged the camera between his hands when we went back outside.

All in all, it wasn't that bad. (Until the feeling returned to my toes later that night.)

Double Deuce/Rainy Day should wrap up principle photography in the next day or two, and be ready to submit their work to fine cable networks everywhere.

Hopefully, The Colonel didn't mess up the scene too badly.

On the plus side, I got to punch the Writer/Director in the eye...twice.

On the other hand, I also get kicked in a very private area.

It really belongs on PBS, but they need the exposure.


Blogger Colonel Havoc said...

Actually, (this is true) the Blond told me that Heath Ledger would have done a better job than I did.

When I remided her that he was dead, she said, "Exactly."

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too, funny!I hope they do well, and remember the "Mean Aunt" in there prosperity!

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In all fairness, I didn't see the Colonel deliver his line. I'm sure he did a fine job now that he's a veteran actor.

The Blond

10:15 AM  
Blogger Reinman said...

At the very least, thanks for not doing the Darth Vader, Episode III, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

On second thought...

1:57 PM  
Blogger Reinman said...

Also, thanks for snapping those photos -- something we unfortunately neglected to do on this project.

5:36 PM  

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