Verbing the Vibe

Dumb Stuff the Blond & I talk about in the morning...



I'm actually a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to "Verbing".

The family has been having a lot of fun using this particular assault on the English language when referring to our latest little form of transportation.



"Let's Vibe over to the grocery store."

"How about we Vibe up to McCarthy Beach for the afternoon?"

"What do you say, shall we Vibe on over to the Hampton's for some Tea and Backgammon?"

This train of thought led to a recollection: Growing up, I used to really hate it when people would Verb the word, "Ski-Do". They would say, "Hey! Let's go "Ski-Do-ing" this Saturday!"

I always wanted to scream, "It's NOT SKI-DOING! It's Riding a Snowmobile!"

But then, we had to conclude that it wasn't so much the Verbing that bothered me. It was the Genericizing (tm) of a Brand Name. For some, the Brand "Ski-Do" had replaced the term "Snowmobile" for any winter conveyance, no matter what make or model.

Being "Scorpion" drivers, this really offended my siblings and me.

Yet (Here comes the hypocrisy...) it didn't bother me in the least to constantly refer to ANY Facial Tissue as a "Kleenex".



I would never say, "Hey, would you hand me a Facial Tissue?" or "Excuse me, my nose is running. May I please have a Puff?"

The reason I would never say those things is because, growing up, I would NEVER blow my nose.

Really...

I would always just suck it all back in. By the time I became an adult, I believe I had accumulated about five gallons of cold-related phlegm in my skull, which goes a long way in explaining this Blog.

The Blond told me that she didn't think ANY kids blew their noses.

Rather than go to work, we pondered this over a couple more mugs of Coffee.

Why do kids Hate to blow their noses? We believe it is because our Mothers turn it into such a Horrible Experience.

Think about it. You are five years old. Your nose is running. Your Mom comes up to you with a Kleenex (tm), presses it to your face and says, "Here...Blow."

At this point, one of two things happens.

She either holds the tissue so loosely that as you blow, the snot misses it completely and runs right into you mouth...

or..

She clamps it down on your nose so tightly that when you do blow, your head explodes.

Somehow, I don't think Phlegm was ever intended to be blown out of our ears.

I'm glad that my mom can't Kleenex me anymore.

Because Verbing Weirds Language.