Friday, June 16, 2006

Instructions...Part 2

It was a very hot and humid day. Lil' Penny wanted a Lil' Backyard Pool, so the Blond went to Lil' Wal-Mart to get one.

They really didn't have any small,
Kiddie-Type pools (for our 15 year old) so she ended up getting the smallest, most reasonably priced, soft sided, above ground pool she could find.

Since these pools have a small filter and other accessories, we quickly discovered that we had to actually MAINTAIN the pool. We overheard cryptic conversations in the pool aisle at Wal-mart, like one woman saying to another...

"Yes, yes, you can have the right level of Bromine, but you just HAVE to keep that PH Balanced."


Test Strips, PH, Alkalines, Bromine, Chlorine, Algae Control, Balancers, and (I swear I am not making this up)..."
Shock Treatment".

I had a steep learning curve ahead of me, and it was in the shape of a blue, slightly out-of-round bag of festering water in my backyard.

Internet to the rescue... I read a couple of good articles from people who had scaled this wall of pool maintenance before me. One article stated that the best way to tackle the whole "Chlorine Problem" was to get one of those dispensers that automatically dissolves a little tablet of sanitizer as it floats around in the pool.

So back to Wal-Mart, and here's where the instructions come in. The directions for using the Floating Chlorine Dispenser consisted of a single, two-sided piece of paper...

The front page told me, in no uncertain terms, of the SEVERE DANGER (Peligro) to myself and my progeny if I DARED to violate the detailed information promised on the other side of these orders. "SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS or you will DIE!" was the clear implication.

With great trepidation, I turned the paper over...


There's that word again. What is it about instructions where the ONLY THING they think I need to know is this magical word, "Clic"?

In a cost saving measure, they even decided to omit the letter "k".

Click. Once again, that was it... "Click."

Somewhere, on the original pool box, there is a support number listed.

"Click." I'd call the number, but I'm deathly afraid I'll get the same response.


Blogger Colonel Havoc said...

While we all know that "Festering Water" would be a great name for a Rock Band, it should also be pointed our that "A Bag of Festering Water" can be re-arranged to spell, "Best Gag? Fear of Wet Rain."

8:31 AM  
Blogger Graceland King said...

Wow! A cool fire pit and a pool. Now I know how the other half lives.

8:11 AM  
Blogger the devine one said...

that is shocking
(pun intended)

6:18 PM  
Blogger Reinman said...

When your blog becomes enormously popular, and you start merchandising and crap, one of your t-shirts must be the "clic" diagram.

8:20 AM  
Blogger the devine one said...

i think it already is enormously popular..

and i want that t-shirt..

10:43 AM  
Blogger JC said...

I'm just inquiring if "Always a Band" is going to be producing a swimsuit edition with the addition of the pool?

9:04 AM  
Blogger Colonel Havoc said...

We'll put Gina in a Bikini...

11:46 AM  

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