Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Moron, A Pipe Wrench, and a 2500 year old Theorem

Lately, I have been showering in the kitchen sink, with marginal results. People are beginning to avoid me at work. The only ones who who venture within smelling distance are curiosity seekers, asking questions like, "Why are your hands so dirty?" and "How did you get those nasty gouges in your head?" (Answer to both questions: Overhead Cast Iron Pipe)

Things The Colonel has Learned on this Project:

Wishing for something doesn't make it come true. Also, Cardboard boxes make lousy vanities.
A Corroded Tub Spout will cost you about $4,000.00, if you get the Blond involved.

There is never enough room for your stuff. This used to be Penny's room.

The ONLY way to remove an old Cast Iron Tub is to Beat the Snot out of it with a Big Hammer. (People told me this, but I didn't believe them. Math Geeks: Consult Pythagoras)

Leaving Cryptic Notes won't help once you cover them with Sheetrock.

There is a LOT more Crud in the Ceiling than you think.

The Colonel doesn't even want to discuss how he needed to rescind the Laws of Physics to get a New, LARGER Tub into a space formerly occupied by a SMALLER Tub, a smaller tub we had to DESTROY in order to remove.

Suffice to say, it's in place, relatively undamaged, but still needs major plumbing installation. But for right now, the Colonel is tired, sweaty, and needs a shower.



Blogger Jilb said...

I like the look of the new one though. It'll all be worth it!

See you tonight.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, a picture's worth a thousand words, but the Colonel does turn a clever phrase. And a $4000.00 bathroom remodel is probably cheaper than starting an electrical fire in the basement, thus burning down the entire house...

The Blonde

9:07 AM  
Blogger Jamylou said...

You guys are hilarious and quite entertaining. So General, are you up for helping with another once you're done? Haha! Don't worry it won't be for a while. $4,000 is pretty far out of our budget. :)

10:34 AM  
Blogger [ brooke ] said...

I disagree. I find that cardboard boxes make fantastic vanities, and the sheetrock-covered cryptic notes I've encountered from the past do help.... I'm not sure HOW, but they have!

I'm glad you got the tub to fit. I just hope that there's enough room for a wall now...

11:24 AM  
Blogger Reinman said...

Good post. A little water in the basement now and then suddenly doesn't seem like such a big hassle...

10:27 PM  
Blogger JC said...

hmmm.....I remember once typing out a bio once for a couple speaking at a marriage retreat. They said their marriage survived an entire household renovation!

You guys have this thing so down pat.

5:49 AM  
Blogger newsynews said...

Thank you so much for posting about remodleing, sometimes we mistakenly think that it would be easier to remodle than to continue building on our house...but on the other hand...besides the little doorways, a remodled bathroom only costs 4,000 while a whole new house costs on average about 3 times what ever was planned.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

About the time the old tub needed to be removed was about the time we had to pay for all the new tile, and I had those thoughts of "is it worth it?" But, too late now! In for a dime, in for approx. 4,000.00 smackers.

The Blonde
PS-It wouldn't have been quite so much but the Colonel needed a bathroom stereo :)

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, and to Reinman's comment- No, "a little water in the basement" isn't a big hassle. Unless it runs thru the electrical box first! (I understand that you had more than "a little" water...)


11:20 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Oh, you should have put the picture of the flamingo. That thing was awesome!

tootles! :)

5:58 PM  

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